If I could take it all back
by HaliDarkFire
Summary: When Matt first came to the orphanage, Mello was not nice to him. Now he regrets never believing in Matt.


alright, as happy as I am to be able to write for you guys again. I love summer, woot! I have lots of stories, hopefully I'll be able to put most of them on today XD. I do not own death note, or its characters. p.s. this is Mello's POV

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Maybe I was too young to know any better. I never really thought he was serious, and it was nice to hear at the time. I remember when he first came to the orphanage. His red hair stood out so much, and he always had goggles on, so he often got picked on. I didn't really like him then, so I would pick on him. I beat him up a lot, and during sports I'd always go out of my way to hit him with the ball. He always laughed it off though. I found him incredibly annoying, I thought he was stupid, but he never got below an 85, in fact, he almost always got above a 90. He beat everyone at video games, and he scored more than half the points for his teams in sports, he seemed so perfect. What really annoyed me though, was how every single girl thought he was hot, and wanted to talk with him. All the guys started to think he was cool, and wanted to talk to him. But me, I hated him, and he only wanted to talk to me. I yelled at him whenever he pissed me off, beat him up, and even broke his arm once, but he still followed me around. They even put him in my room. So all I would hear is his game boy, and his mouth when he had no batteries. Wouldn't talk much during the day, but when he was around me he wouldn't shut up. One day I kinda just snapped, and flipped out on him. I beat him up, but he followed me around still, until volleyball. I hit him in the face with the ball, and he didn't sit up at first, when I walked over he sat up and laughed nervously. So, I punched him, and he got a bloody nose. I didn't see him after that, or at least, not up close. I listened around a bit. He slept in trees, sat on the opposite side of the room. He went into our room when I wasn't there, wouldn't play sports with me, he never talked to me either. I was okay at first, until I realized he must have been watching me, so he could avoid me. Eventually it pissed me off. So I went around looking for him. However, I was in such a bad mood, I wasn't paying attention, or thinking. So, when I bumped into one of the major bullies I wasn't thinking when I screamed at him to move the fuck out of my way. Of course, 'gang leaders' are not going to let you insult them. So, I suppose I shouldn't have been surprised when he punched me. I remember falling to the ground, and hoping I'd pass out as they beat me. I felt like I was going to for a second, when they all stopped. I look up when I felt something near me, and I saw Matt, slowly standing up, only to be kicked in his side again. I stared as he rolled a few feet away, then closed my eyes when I saw them all gather around him. However, the cry I heard did not sound like Matt, I looked up, only to see Matt beating them all up. I stared, and wondered why he never beat me up, I bet he could. I saw them all run away, and I slowly sat up, I was a coward, I knew that. I looked up at Matt. He had a black eye, and looked limp. But, none-the less, he looked at me, and smiled. I never understood why he still liked me. I remember after that, he made a promise to protect me, that he would die for me, and before I did. He had a dopey look on his face, but his eyes looked so serious. But I never believed him. But god, I wish I had. I stared at the TV, trying not to cry. He was right, he was so loyal, even though I was an ass. He was so pure. I wasn't sure if I'd ever see him again. I felt my heart pound in my chest, and my eyes widened. I felt my vision go, and my body swayed. Why won't we see each other again? Because, Matt is so perfect, and he's going to go to heaven. He deserves it for all the hell I put him through on earth. And I hope I go to hell. If by some miraculous chance I go to heaven, I'm going to tell you you were right Matt. And then I'm going to tell you I'm sorry, because you could have had a much better life, but you stayed true to your promise. I'm sorry you died because of me Matt, and I hope you're happy now. I hope you find someone to love in heaven Matt, because I was never worthy of you. Maybe this way, I won't get in your way again. God,... I love you Matty. And with that, my eyes closed.


End file.
